Welcome Paloma!
Reservation: 06/06/21 - 06/08/21
Photo: Thunderball Summers & Winters.
CAMP GUESTS
Review Guest Rules
Upon Entering Scaramanaga Property
You Agree To Our Rules & Policies,
Including Fines For Damages, Clean Up,
and Bio Waste Disposal.
Scaramanga Ranch is private property,
not a state park, be courteous
and clean up after yourself.
MAP TO MADRID, NM. THEN ONLY USE
OUR DIRECTIONS OR YOU WILL GET LOST
CHECK-IN PROCEDURE
No Arrival After 7:00pm
** DAY PRIOR **
TEXT ETA TO (424) 279.4370
** DAY OF **
TEXT UPDATED ETA
AND 45-MIN PRIOR TO ARRIVAL
** ARRIVAL DAY **
UPON ARRIVING TO TALL SIGN
PARK ON ROAD THEN TEXT US
WE WILL GREET & DIRECT YOU TO SITE
Section 1/6
Your Camp Site
WOO-HOO! SITE UPGRADED 05/16/21
NEW FEATURES
Wrap Around Shade Curtain, Convenience Honor Bar,
Motion Alarm, Canopy Light, & USB Charging Station!
SITE FAQ'S
AMENITIES PER 2-NIGHT VISIT
Private Canopy, Catchment-Latrine,
40gl Solar-Gravity Shower, (2) Tables, (2) Chairs,
Rustic Bench & Chase, 7gl Unfiltered Well Water,
Potty & Pet Waste Bags, Bathroom Tissue, Trash Service,
Environment Safe Hair & Body Wash,
Non-Charcoal Fire Pit.
Check-In. Post. Review.
Facebook/Insta be sure to check-in
and post some photos @ScaramangaRanch
If we did good submit a review on Hipcamp or AirBnb.
If we didn't, let us know so we can make it right.
We rarely think of Google Reviews
but are now so please add yours.
Summer Amenities
Order Form & Guest Agreement
FARM FRESH EGG ORDER
We will get back to you as soon as possible.
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FARM FRESH EGG ORDER
We will get back to you as soon as possible.
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AMENITIES
Order Before Arrival
Included Amenities Are Free
Cost Amenity Fee Covers Entire Visit Unless Noted (Payment Upon Arrival)
Amenity Order
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AMENITIES
MUST RESERVE PRIOR TO ARRIVAL
Some Amenities Free • Cost Amenity Fee Covers Entire Visit Unless Noted
(Cash Payment Upon Arrival)
Amenity Order
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Section 2/6
Ranch Directions
ARRIVE TO MADRID, NM
Then Only Use These Directions
Google & Apple Apps Will Get You Lost.
This Drive Is 4-6 Minutes Max
(1)
TURN ONTO CAVE RD.
2-STORY YELLOW HOUSE & FIRE HYDRANT
(2)
AT ' T ' [RIGHT] ONTO BECK RD.
TRASHY TABLE LT & JUNKY MIATA RT
(3)
SHARP [LEFT] INTO WALDO MESA RD.
WHITE SUV W/ HOOD UP SINCE 2017
** PROCEED UP VERY BUMPY MOUNTAIN **
SLOW YET GRACEFULLY
(4)
CROW FLYING SOUTH [OVERHEAD]
ON PASSENGER SIDE
KIDDING LOL MADE YA LOOK
(5)
TOP OF HILL 'IMMEDIATE' [LEFT] AT
SCARAMANGA WAGON & FLAG
(6)
VERTICAL SIGN [PARK ON ROAD]
TEXT 424.279.4370
WE WILL GREET & GET YOU TO SITE
** DO NOT ENTER GATED DRIVEWAY **
CHICKENS WILL ATTACK
RANCH GUIDE
Property Boundaries
Scaramanga Ranch is 25-Acres.
Do Not Access Red Areas
No Missing Guests In
[ 1 ] Months
| Black Icon | Site | Blue Icon | Site |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Thunderball | 1 | Sunrise Table |
| 2 | Goldeneye | 2 | Gulch Entry |
| 3 | Sanchez' Lair | 3 | Nick Nack's Casita |
| 4 | Mr. Big HQ | 4 | Mini-Canyon |
| 5 | Dominic's Lair | A | 2 Ranch |
| 6 | Skyfall | B | 2 Madrid, NM |
| 7 | Her Majesty | C | 2 Graveyard |
| 8 | Moonraker | D | 2 Far |
Section 3/6
Rules & Agreements
Guest Rules & Agreement
We go over and beyond for you,
please keep it clean for us.
- Catchment Latrine Use
The uber-clean latrine is within a private enclosure. Below the toilet seat within an enclosed base is a bio-waste bag lined waste bucket. Access to the base is behind the latrine:
1) Wear provided disposable gloves.
2) Remove sanitized bucket.
3) Add provided bio-waste liner. Use bungee to secure.
4) Use provided shovel to add 1/4in desert sand.
Guests must remove and dispose their biowaste off property (do not bury / do not place in trash).
The latrine is cleaned and sanitized after guest check-out and on guest arrival day. Bio-Waste liners, bathroom tissue, and disposable gloves are provided amenities.
Human Waste Disposal Fee: By staying on property you agree and consent to automatic billing to your credit card in the amount of $500 per incident, inclusive of DNA test fee (if violation is refudred by guest) for human bio-waste left behind, buried, or improperly disposed of on property by your party. Applied only after a confirmed test result. Waste Not Guest Attributed: This fee nor test fee are charged.
Note: Outhouses are banned by the NM EPA. Guests must not bury bio-waste of any kind anywhere on property whatsoever.
- Gravity Solar Shower Use
April-September Use Only. Since the water evacuates to the ground use detergent-free products (a detergent-free body/hair wash is provided). Within an uber-clean outdoor private enclosure, the sun unheated water descends by gravity.
Water Temperatures
Apr-May = Brisk
Jun-Aug = Warm
Sep= Brisk
Oct-Feb= Frozen
- Pet Waste Use
Pet bio-bags are a provided amenity. You must pick up your pet's bio-waste and dispose of it off-property. Ours is a pristine film environment and this is strictly enforced.
Pet Waste Disposal Fee: By staying on property you agree and consent to automatic billing to your credit card in the amount of $500 per incident, inclusive of DNA test fee for pet bio-waste left behind, buried, or improperly disposed of on property by your party. Applied only after a confirmed test result. Waste Not Guest Attributed: This fee nor test fee are charged.
- Trash Can Use
Trash Can: A lined trash can is provided. Do not dispose human or pet bio-waste in provided trash. Trash is picked up by ranch staff every 2-night stay. Heavy metal objects, parts, or machinery may not be disposed of in trash.
Litter Clean Up Fee: By staying on property you agree and consent to automatic billing to your credit card in the amount of $75. per incident for litter left behind and attributed to your party.
- Fires / Flame Use
Open Flame: Only permitted within provided firepit in winds below 15 mph. However, if asked to put out fire, guest must comply. Do not burn paper or plastic in firepit. Do not use/dispose charcoal in firepit (litter fee applies). Guests are welcome to source wood from dead stock in your area. Only dowse fires with water. Amenity: A bucket with non-potable water provided for fire use only.
Enclosed Flame (i.e. your own grill): So long as the flame is being monitored and can be enclosed, you may use your own propane or charcoal grill at your camp site.
Smoking: strictly prohibited on property. Litter fee applies to found smoking remnants.
Fire Extinguisher Fee: An extinguisher is provided for emergency use. By staying on property, you agree and consent to automatic billing to your credit card in the amount of $50. per unit (restocking) of expended extinguisher. Fee only applies to your open flame use. In case of natural fire emergency, call 911. If it can be extinguished with provided unit and you are willing to do so you will not be charged for the unit (and may even earn a future free stay as per our gratitude).
Assumed Risk: Your "At-Will" use of fire on property is an assumed personal and financial liability risk. By staying on property, you accept full responsibility and liability for direct and indirect property and neighboring property damages attributed to your use of fire regardless as to whether you acted or did not act properly. Providing a firepit does not in any way whatsoever represent culpable risk on behalf of the property owner or representing company. You further agree to indemnify owners and company of any responsibility or liability whatsoever in regards to injury, death, or damages attributed to your party's use of fire.
- Damage/Theft/Injury
Full Disclosure: Scaramanga Ranch occupies raw, dangerous, and unkempt native-desert wilderness on which injury or death could occur. Assume every rock is lose, all earth uneven, every animal will attack, all insects sting, and every plant toxic.
Assumed Risk: Your party's occupation and use of this property is considered, "At-Will" and exclusively at your own risk. By staying on property, all guests accept full responsibility and liability for direct and indirect damages and injuries attributed to your occupation and use. Renting/providing access to and use of the property does not in any way whatsoever represent culpable or any liability whatsoever on behalf of property owners or representing company. You further agree to indemnify owners and company of any responsibility or liability whatsoever in regards to direct or indirect personal damage, theft, injury, or death attributed your party's occupation and use of the property even in cases which you may have acted properly, took every precaution, or assumed an element or objects viability and or functionality.
Governing Law: All guests further agree to and understand any an all action between guest or visitor shall take place in and be governed by the law of the State of New Mexico, within Santa Fe County.
- General Conduct
Just-Be-Cool Policy: Property owner / management company reserve the right to order any guest or visitor off the property for any reason whatsoever and without refund. This includes if, at owner/ representative's sole discretion, a guest or visitor is deemed or preceived as being a jerk, a liability, dangerous, or unruly drug or alcohol user. Go ahead play your music as loud as you want, dance naked (out of open view of course), imbibe your toxin of choice, have an incredible time, just be safe... and you'll be fine. Thanks for staying.
Rating or Review Policy: For this one, you can thank a sole jerk who misused an online booking platform review system to achieve a total refund.
Our Responsibility: It is our responsibility to fully and accurately describe everything we commit to guests.
Guest Responsibility: It is the guest's responsibility to actually read it and look at the photos BEFORE booking, accepting, and then occupying the property.
We openly welcome authentic truthful reviews, even negative ones so long as you can prove;
1) We failed to provide an amenity, service, or glampsite committed to in the location description online in which you accepted at time of booking in the way it was disclosed on said booking platform or this site.
2) We misrepresented, exaggerated, or failed to accurately describe anything about the property, your glampsite, or an amenity on a booking platform or this site.
3) If upon arrival any element or service we committed to online was anything less than what was fully disclosed and committed to on the booking platform or this site.
4) If our conduct was poor or site cleanliness was in fact not sanitized or clean.
However, if the review is negative and withstanding we did not fully meet the obligations as noted above, described in writing, and supplemented by photos on the booking platform or on this site, you must remove said review if requested. The penalty of which is you assuming all legal fees in pursuance with getting you to comply.
Very sorry folks, we are transparent and truthful in everything. But we had a guest go on a vicious tirade about everything that was fully described, back by photos, and condition was provided as described. Not that it was dirty or bad quality, the dude literally used the rating system to argue the virtues of camping, going so far as to complain about "wind" and "dust" in a desert-forest terrain all for the express purpose of not having to pay for what they accepted at the time of booking. The equivalent of writing a vicious hotel review because a bed was provided. Not that one wasn't provided, was unclean or poor, but that the bed itself was in the room. We kid you not.
- Guests / Guest Visitors
Guests: All guests and guest visitors (if permitted) must be 18yo or older "With Valid Government ID" to enter the property regardless of "maturity", "survival skills" or "supervision". This is STRICTLY enforced. We love kids, but not on our wild terrain with canyon film site proprety. Thanks for complying.
Guest Visitors: Visitors are not permitted on property with out a pass. Visitor Passes must be requested 2-hours prior to visit (text request to 505.395.6465). Scaramanga reserves the right to reserve anyone from entering the property. Visitors must provide ID and sign Indemnification Waver upon arrival. Guest visitors are not allowed to overnight on property.
Optional Amenities
If you need it, we may have it.
Order a pet chicken it will love you!
- 25 Watt Solar Charger: $25
Solar cell with smartphone and tablet adapters. Rental period is 2-day increments payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $75.
- Big Ass Stargazing Binoculars: $15
Think big, then think WAY bigger. Rip the moon to your nose with these bad boys. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $700.
- (2) Additional Chairs: $15
Two more of what we've provided all ready. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $35 each.
- 60 Quart Cooler: $15
Keep your cool... we even include 2-bags of ice. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $125.
- Cooking Utensils, Pot, Pan: $15
Typical kitchen utensil pack w/ small pot, and pan. You must return items clean. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $45.
- Live Pet Chicken: $15
Live and rather docile hen for you to pet and care for. Straw filled crate, feed & water included. If she lays an egg you get ot keep it and also get $5 off! Chicken may be coddeled and pet within cage. It may not be fully removed because if it gets away you'll be running around like uh... er... a chicken to get her back. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. If you hurt or kill this pet you will be banned from property and charged $150. You are also not allowed to eat the chicken.
- Canopy Bug Screens: $25
We'll secure all four sides of your canopy with bug screen. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $40 per panel.
- Rain-Proof Canvas Walls: $30
Turn your canopy into a glampnopy. We'll secure all four sides with rain resistant canvas sides. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $50 per panel.
Section 4/6
Recommendations
Road Less Traveled
Insider's list to under-discovered,
rarely visited, bizarre, and obscure.
- Madrid Cemetery
Scaramanga: 15 Min Walk
35.416397, -106.156885
About: We are quite certain you've never seen anything like this. Just imagine what a graveyard would look like if a horde of genuine hippies took charge of it. Then think even weirder than that lol.
Best Time: Sunrise or just after sunset for some drop dead awesome photos.
- 1700's Encampments
Scaramanga: 5 Min Drive + 1hr Hike
35.430011, -106.155740
About: Numerous 1700-1800's settler and miner home foundations. Super cool, but not for the weak... it's a 5-minte drive, then a hike down to see them only to come right back up. These rarely visited sites are pristine. Round trip hike approx 1.5 hrs.
Best Time: Morning or early afternoon & bring plenty of water.
- Cerrillos Catholic Cemetery
Scaramanga: 15 Min Drive
7 Yerba Buena, Los Cerrillos, NM 87010
35.442544, -106.120688
About: Located minutes from the historic town of Los Cerrillos, a totally obscure and rarely visited and pretty much abandoned cemetery with graves dating back to the early 1700's. Super, super cool if you enjoy mysteries and
history. Research has been done on some of the sites just google it.Best Time: Mid-morning to mid-day.
- Madrid, NM Audio Tour
Scaramanga: 5 Min Drive, 10 Min Walk
Madrid, NM 87010
About: Oral History Tour of Madrid, NM: The Town Too High To Die. Madrid produced the coal that both built the Bomb and inspired Walt Disney. Abandoned for years, it was reborn as a thriving artistic community.
Best Time: Anytime.
- Golden, NM
Scaramanga: 15 Min Drive
About: It's the ghost town that literally kicked off the Gold Rush in America, hence, "Golden".
Best Time: Mid-day.
- Los Cerrillos, NM
Scaramanga: 10 Min Drive
Los Cerrillos, NM
About: In addition to being the backdrop set for Young Guns, there is a very cool itsy-bitsy museum there called Casa Grande Trading Post. Nearby is the Turquiose Trail Sculpture Garden- and yeah, it's worth seeing.
Best Time: Mid-day.
- Bonanza Creek Movie Ranch
Scaramanga: 15 Min Drive
15 Bonanza Creek Lane, Santa Fe, NM
About: Aside from it's legendary status, Bonanza Creek is by far the largest movie ranch in NM. It's also has the largest and most standing sets in the state. Tours are rare, but if you catch Imogene on a good day she just may personally drive you around.
Best Time: When Imogene says, "Come on over", drop what you're doing and there there now!
- Meteorite & Fossil Gallery
Scaramanga: 28 Min Drive
110 Don Gaspar Ave, Santa Fe, NM 87501
About: Meteorite & Fossil Gallery is the legit best, most honest and authentic place of its type. It's owner, Charlie, is famously known as the "Indiana Jones of Meteorites". If you buy something, guranteed it's authentic. But don't ask him if it will help you get pregnant or good luck lol... he goes total shark eye.
Best Time: When Charlie is there for sure.
Underhyped Great Eats
Lesser-known excellent and
authentic places to dine.
- $ Pizza: Beer Creek Brewing (10 min)
Scaramanga: 10 Min Drive
3810 NM-14, Santa Fe, NM 87508
Hours: 11:30a-9p
About: BEST. PIZZA. EVER! Very affordable and high quality. Not even joking. This place rocks the best food, best vibes, and if you're into beer they brew their own. Every evening live music in the patio. Owner's name is Rich, let him know Scaramanga sent you.
- $$ BBQ: Ranch House (25 mins)
From Scaramanga: 25 Min Drive
2571 Cristo's Rd, Santa Fe, NM 87507
Hours: 11:30a-7p
About: Always excellent food and great atmosphere. If you love bbq you'll love this place. That being said their menu goes way beyond bbq so there's a taste for everyone.
- $ Diner: Flying Tortilla (26 mins)
Scaramanga: 26 Min Drive
4250 Cerrillos Rd, Santa Fe, NM 87507
Hours: 6:30a-2:30p
About: Excellent greasy spoon diner with even better breakfast. Interior is dated and plain but you're for the food!
- $$ Italian: Café Grazie (28 mins)
Scaramanga: 26 Min Drive
3530 Zafarano Drive, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 11a-9p
About: Real Italy Italian in NM? Believe it or not this place has the serves the most authentic Tuscan-style dishes in the state. Often overlooked and way underrated due to its small size and odd location (strip mall) Cafe Grazie is italian at its best. Cozy contemporary atmosphere and they serve wine!
- $ New Mexican: Plaza Café (28 min)
Scaramanga: 28 Min Drive
3466 Zafarano Dr., Santa Fe, NM 87507
Hours: 11a-9p
About: Excellent New Mexican and other comfort foods. Why wait 2 hours at the plaza location. Plaza Cafe South has a beautiful and way more relaxed atmosphere... GET THE COCONUT CREAM PIE!
- $$ New Mexican: Tomasita's (30 min)
Scaramanga: 32 Min Drive
500 S Guadalupe St, Santa Fe, NM 87501
Hours: 11a-8p
About: "Finally", a well known popular place that lives up to the hype. It will take forever to get seated but totally worth it! EVERYTHING on the menue is authentic and tastes phenomenal.
Best Time:
- $$$$ Steak: Bull Ring (34 min)
Scaramanga: 34 Min Drive
150 Washington Ave #108, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 4p-9p
About: WORTH EVERY PENNY! All the other steakhouses in the plaza area are total hype and crap. Bull Ring is where the states movers, shakers, and politicians go. Total old school glam interior. Their steak is on par with Del Frisco's. Skip the dining room, the bar is where you want to be. Jamie & Mary are the only bar tenders that matter... let them know Scaramanga sent ya! P.S. Don't (lol) Fall for Geronimo's Steak House. Yes, it's froo-froo, yes it's expensive, yes their steaks taste like Outback Grill... not worth the money- at all.
- $$$ Asian: Izanami (43 min)
Scaramanga: 43 Min Drive
21 Ten Thousand Waves Way, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 12p-9p
About: Izanami is nestled within the Santa Fe mountains and by god if you visit one Santa Fe restauraunt make it this one. Once inside you'll be convinced you've flown to Japan because it is EPIC. Food- perfect. Now see our recommendation of their spa... oooo, gets even better.
Section 5/6
Good Merchants & Great Advice
Perfect Proprietors
Our great merchant guide to special places in Santa Fe.
- Antiques: Santa Fe Antiques Mall (30 Mins)
Scaramanga: 30 Min Drive
(505) 982-0017
Antiques: Santa Fe Antiques Mall
Hours: 10a-4:30p
About: There are many antique shops in Santa Fe, none are quite like this. Seems the place has something for everyone. And while the rest price themselves out of the ballpark, Santa Fe Antiques Mall is pretty grounded and affordable when it comes to deals.
- Minerals/Art: Meteorites & More (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
110 Don Gaspar Ave, Santa Fe, NM
(505) 988-3299
Minerals/Art: Meteorites & More
Hours: 10a-6p
About: As noted before, this. place. rocks. In addition, they have some of the most interesting and sought after mineral art in the country. The owner, Charlie is widely known as the 'Indiana Jones of Meteorites", strike up a conversation with him because boy does he have some way cool stories to tell.
- Apparel: Fist Full of Dollars (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
Hours: 11a-5p
About: We love the clothing at this place... just really cool western inspired closthing and at excellent prices.
- Jewelry: Samsville Gallery (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
66 E San Francisco St, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 11a-7p
About: We mentioned Sam before. If you're even considering a Native American jewelry purchase visit Sam first. If you already bought Native American jewelry- bring it to Sam to authenticate it and tell ya what its true value is.
- Essentials: Santa Fe Soap Ranch (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
207 Old Santa Fe Trail, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 10a-4p
About: Heavenly is the best way to describe this shop. Just walking inside places you in chillax mode. Prices are fair, not too high, not too low. They also ship some really awesome gift packs.
- Ornaments: The Shop (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
116 E Palace Ave, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 10a-6p
About: It's Christmas year round at this place and they stock plenty of unique decorations you haven't seen anywhere else. The place is jam packed so be careful not to take out a tree or two.
- Apparel: Maverick's of Santa Fe (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
80 E San Francisco St, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 10a-7:30p
About: By god, this is a western apparel fantasy shop. Simply amazing and you'll find something cool and affordiale that appeals to everyone on your gift list. Although mostly you'll want it all for yourself.
- Authentics: Santa Fe Flea Market (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
17751 US Hwy 285, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: Seasonal
About: Numerous We know this is going to sound weird but if you feel confident in your turquoise jewelry authentication skills, you will find nothing less than shockingly low prices. Quite literally we have picked up some impressive finds. Personal example; we saw a very elaborate peice by a very collectable artist in a plaza shop for $3500 dollars... later that day we hit the SF flea market and found the exact same item by said artist for $600! And yes, it was everything we thought it was and totally authentic (not a knockoff)... ever since, this is where we go to buy 'old pawn' collectable jewelry. You bet we bought it.
Turquoise Buyers Guide
This could prevent you from getting ripped off and it happens ALL the time.
- Turquoise Value Truth
Given New Mexico’s turquoise legacy you’d think it has great value. Unfortunately, that is so far from the truth. In fact, as far as gemstone (karat) value, U.S. Southwest mined turquoise ranks bottom of the barrel. The most valuable being from China. From an investment/collector standpoint, southwestern jewelry value is a direct consequence of the Native American artist who crafted it.
Just because a seller touts an artist’s name does not necessarily mean it is sought after, collectible, valuable, or even authentic. Despite it being a federal crime, numerous plaza jewelers have been busted for selling India-made knockoffs with forged Native American artist names. And finding a reputable plaza jeweler is more difficult than you’d like to think (out of dozens, only one plaza jeweler made our recommend list).
- Fool Me Once: Turquoise Types
Never assume when a seller implies. It’s your money, never be afraid to ask. And if they say one thing and you’re willing to buy it, ask them to document the affirmation on the receipt and sign their name to it. You will be shocked at how many will decline or fly off the handle upon request. A reputable seller is always happy to abide.
Solid vs Stabilized vs Altered
• Solid Natural Turquoise is just that, a single solid gemstone. Density is everything. Clearly, solid is what you want and often has the highest value.
• Stabilized Natural Turquoise is still turquoise; it is just softer, more porous, and thus lower grade. Some of the best matrixes are simply too fragile to shape and so they are stabilized with an epoxy.
• Enhanced means the stone has been stabilized with cheaper plastic filler.
• Reconstituted or “Chalk” means fragments of turquoise have been crushed into a fine powder (turquoise dust) and then mixed with epoxy to form hard blocks which are then cut into stone shapes.
• Block or Imitation is synthetic (dyed plastic) or the manipulation of another stone like Howlite and made to appear as turquoise, but with no actual turquoise in it.
- Real vs False Test
So, you're no gemstone expert but at the very least you want to distinguish the real stuff from the fake. Not a problem...
Option 1: Pocket Knife
Open the knife and gently tap the stone. A sharp sound = real, thud = fake.
Option 2: Tooth Test
Tap the stone gently against your tooth. A sharp sound = real, thud = fake.
Now go impress everyone with your newfound savviness. and sophistication.
- Trading Company vs Trading Company
While anyone can own a Trading Company, very very few are actual Traders. The difference being a trader has earned the trust of Native Americans and trades (jewelry, good, and services) with them. Meanwhile the typical Trading Company has no interaction with Native Americans… and no one just up and becomes a trader. Doesn’t work that way. It takes generations before this trust is earned.
So, you asked, and the Trading Company said they are traders… how can you be certain? Follow up by asking if they do pawn. If they don’t do pawn, guaranteed they are not a real trader. Here is a little peek behind the curtain… Native Americans (rightfully so) do not trust banks, they do not do business with banks, and that’s why you have never seen a bank on a reservation.
If Native Americans don’t trust banks, who do they trust? Enter the Trader; bakers to Native America who pawn their most prized creations in exchange for extremely low interest loans. And if you think they’re being taken advantage of, you are wrong. Traders are not typical pawn shops which are usually predatory and incentivized to seize the pawn. In contrast, that is the last thing a Trader wants to do because it definitively ends the trading cycle (which is not to their advantage). Payback of a transaction can go on for years or even decades. Yet the Trader still has that prized jewelry, patiently waiting for the loan to be repaid so the cycle to begin again. And this leads into your next buyers tip…
- Jewelry vs Old Pawn Jewelry
Today, Native Americans leverage their talents to craft incredible contemporary jewelry to sell... but back in the day they made it to trade for supplies and loans. Don't get us wrong, contemporary stuff can still be quite valuable and collectable... but true collectors are all about the "old pawn". Old pawn is the classic stuff made to trade with Traders and they can't get enough of it. So if you are getting in to collect, always ask the seller if they have any "old pawn". Especially if you're at an authentic Trading Company.
- Jewelry Sale 40%! 50%! 60% Off!
Whistleblowing New Mexico Tourism’s biggest shenanigans. If your Native American jewelry purchase was motivated by 40, 50, 0r OMG- 60% off sale… we are deeply sorry to admit that gimmick has played non-stop since 1960. No matter what year, time of year, or season you visit New Mexico, Native American jewelry is always 40, 50, and 60% off lol. When folks try that on us, we say call us when it’s 70% off because that will be a sale.
Another gimmick, the perpetual “Going Out of Business Sale”, which Santa Fe attempted to crack down on by requiring a permit to hang those banners and only for two weeks. Initially, the permit cost $250 which repeat offenders regularly paid. Eventually, it was increased to $2500. While that certainly stopped most, during high season some still pay it. Long story short, there is no sale, and no one is actually going out of business.
Of the plaza shops we only endorse one and they rarely have sales, but when the do rest assured it is actually on sale. There are other decent owners on the plaza. Best way to weed out the fakers, frauds and falsifiers? If the shop owner is a multi-generational New Mexican or Hispanic New Mexican, they’re often decent folks. The dirty scandal going on behind the scenes for 10 years is the unprecedented influx of foreign owners that work together to pressure New Mexican owners to sell out. This isn’t rumor, several close friends share their horrifying stories with us. So, in short, buy New Mexican.
- Endorsed: Samsville Gallery
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
66 E San Francisco St, Santa Fe, NM
About: Breaking the mold, Sam isn't a New Mexico but we've known him a long time. He is always honest, not always cheap, but hey, you do get what you pay for. Another great thing is Sam is also indeed a Trader, a fantastic achievement for someone his age. Everything Sam sell is the good to honest 'real deal'. No fakes, no forgeries, and no junk. Whether you buy or not Sam is happy to have folks drop by and has no problem educating on how to distingush between real and fake. He'll even do a demonstration for you. When you arrive, let him know Scaramanga sent you.
- Tanner Family Traders (Gallup, NM)
(505) 863-4434
Ok, straight up if you want to eliminate any change of making a mistake or getting a bum deal, "and" you can make the 2.5-hour drive to Gallup, NM, hands-down the Tanner family is the most renowned and historically legit Traders in New Mexico... their trades with Native American's go way way way way back. There are many Tanner family Trading Companies in Gallup all perfectly safe. However, if you can strike it up with the patriarch, Ellis Tanner, even better. 100% you will get the best, most honest deal. 100% your purchase will be authentic. 100% you will never be taken and your investment smart. If you do go, mention the television series ‘Fireball Run’ and you'll have instantly made a new, trusted friend.
Section 6/6
Madrid, NM.
Overall Experience
An Angry Old Hippy Town.
Its kitschy, it's weird, but Madrid isn't known for hospitality. Much of the 250 residents are bitter old hippies and it's the bitter part we don't get.
For some reason many merchants act like you owe them. Some are out and out unfriendly and won't even greet you. We'd like that to change. So, please reward those that do with your patronage and those that don't? Find it elsewhere.
Today's tourism is about crafting a great experience and being hospitable. We want you to return and that's why Scaramanga is so highly rated.
New and younger owner-investors have begun to move in, and hopefully soon MADrid will be a lot
less mad and a lot more visitor-appreciative.
If you do have a great experience in a Madrid shop let us know and we'll add them to our list.
Key Madrid Places
Not An Endorsement.
- Mineshaft Tavern & Museum
It's definitely priced for tourists, food so-so, and service to be desired, but the Mineshaft is the most authentic holdover from Madrid's mining era. It's absolutely worth a look and at least one overpriced drink. The museum is mostly a hodge-podge of left over mining equipment but those who appreciate history will get a kick out of it.
- Free Wi-Fi! Java Junction
It's literally the only thing open between 7a-11a. You can identify the owner by the scowl on her face lol, but we'd feel that way too if we opened every day at 7a. Best thing about this place is the free wi-fi... just get there early if you want a seat. Beverage prices are reasonable and absolutely try the green chile quiche!
Great Madrid Merchants
Our Endorsements!
- Jezebel Strip Shops
By far our favorite place in Madrid. Owner is very nice and appreciative of your business. They have a wide range of cool handmade items at reasonable prices all the way up to unbelievable art at market price. Be sure to visit their soda fountain! Pricy but awesome shakes and honestly really good food moderately priced.
- Art & Aniques
Lori Musil Art & Antiques
2891 NM-14, Los Cerrillos, NM
When the owner is there the place has great ambiance. This is pretty much an assortment of unique handmade items. You should at least check it out.
- Seppanen Fine Textures
Holy Holy crikie this stuff is expensive! Then again holy crikie real Native American textures are always expensive- and totally appreciate in value and are worth investment. There are tons of fakery when it comes to textiles in New Mexico, but this place stocks the real deal. Owners get you're a customer and go out of their way to insure you're informed even if you don't buy. this stuff is expensive! Then again holy crikie real Native American textures are always expensive- and totally hold and are worth the investment. There is tons of fakery when it comes to textiles in New Mexico, but this place stocks the real deal. Owners get you're a customer and go out of their way to insure you're informed even if you don't buy.
- Range West
Very impressive stone and metal works by a huble and talented artist/owner. Not cheap, but worth every penny... the water feature's they do are very chill not to mention in several Santa Fe homes.
- Crystal Dragon
Crystal Dragon
Pretty much a gemstone and mineral shop with an assortment of other handcrafted gifts. Store is kinda in disarray but what makes this place special is the very kind and patient owner. He is super helpful and willing to take time with you whether you're buying a $5 dollar or $500 dollar item.
Use Button Links Below For Reservations
Public Guests book through airbnb or Hipcamp. Entertainment Industry Guests book directly.
Welcome Paloma!
06/06/21 - 06/08/21
CAMP GUEST
Check-In Procedure
UPON ARRIVAL TO MADRID, NM
USE OUR DIRECTIONS ONLY
(ALL MAP APPS WILL GET YOU LOST)
DAY BEFORE
TEXT ETA TO (424) 279.4370
DAY OF
TEXT UPDATED ETA
AND 45-MIN PRIOR TO ARRIVAL
ARRIVAL
UPON ARRIVING TO THIS SIGN
PARK ON ROAD THEN TEXT US
- DO NOT ENTER DRIVEWAY -
We will greet you at the sign.
OBSERVE ALL GUEST RULES
& POLICIES BELOW
No Arrivals/Check-In After 8:30pm
OWNERS (424) 279.4370
Section 1/6
Your Site
WOO-HOO!
SITE UPGRADED 05/16/21
NEW FEATURES
Wrap Around Shade Curtain
Micro-Store Box • Motion Alarm
Canopy Light & USB Charging Station!
PER 2-NIGHT VISIT
Private Canopy, Catchment-Latrine,
40gl Solar-Gravity Shower, (2) Tables,
(2) Chairs, Rustic Bench & Chase,
7gl Well Water, Potty & Pet Waste Bags, Bathroom Tissue, Trash Service, Environment Safe Hair & Body Wash,
Non-Charcoal Fire Pit.
SITE FAQ'S
Check-In. Post. Review.
Facebook/Insta be sure to
check-in and post some photos
@ScaramangaRanch
If we did good reviews us
on Hipcamp or AirBnb.
If we didn't, let us know
so we can make it right.
We rarely think of Google Reviews
but are now so please add yours.
"SKYFALL"
Included Amenities.
Private Canopy with catchment-latrine solar shower (Apr-Sep) filled w 40 gal. non-potable water per 2-night visit, (2) chairs, (1) table, detergent-free all body wash, bathroom tissue, human & pet bio-waste bags, disposable gloves, 7 gal. non-potable water per 2-night visit, access to area firewood, lined trash bin w/ complimentary (non-bio waste) disposal per 2-night visit.
| Details | Skyfall Site |
|---|---|
| Canyon Distance | 1500' |
| Canopy & Deck | 12'd x 9'w x 10'h |
| Latitude | 35.413178 |
| Longitude | -106.157078 |
| Catchment Latrine | Yes (bio-bags, gloves, tissue roll) |
| Solar Shower (Apr-Sep) | Yes (detergent-free all body wash) |
| Water | 7 Gal Non-Potable (per 2d rental) |
| Site Utilities | None |
| Firepit | Yes |
| Trash Service | Yes |
| Router Wi-Fi | None |
| Best Cell Service | Verizon, AT&T |
| Vehicle Types | Auto/SUV/30'RV/30'Camper/UTV |
| Driveway Size | |
| Visible Structures | Distant Homes |
Your Site
Summer Amenities
Order Form
AMENITIES
Order Before Arrival
Included Amenities Are Free
Cost Amenity Fee Covers Entire Visit Unless Noted (Payment Upon Arrival)
Amenity Order
We got your order!
Please try again later.
AMENITIES
MUST ORDER PRIOR TO ARRIVAL
Some Amenities Free!
Cost Amenity Fee Covers Entire Visit Unless Noted (Cash Upon Arrival)
Amenity Order
We got your order!
Please try again later.
FARM FRESH EGG ORDER
We will get back to you as soon as possible.
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Section 2/6
Ranch Directions
ARRIVE TO MADRID, NM
USE DIRECTIONS & MAP BELOW
(Lat 35.413826 / Lon -106,158682)
DRIVE IS 4-6 MINS MAX
(1)
TURN INTO CAVE RD.
2-STORY YELLOW HOUSE & FIRE HYDRANT
(2)
AT ' T ' [RIGHT] ONTO BECK RD.
TRASHY TREE TABLE LT - JUNKY MITA RT
(3)
SHARP [LEFT] INTO WALDO MESA RD.
WHITE SUV W/ HOOD UP SINCE 2017
** PROCEED UP VERY BUMPY MOUNTAIN **
SLOW YET GRACEFULLY
(4)
CROW CIRCLING [OVERHEAD]
ON DRIVERS SIDE
KIDDING LOL MADE YA LOOK
(5)
TOP OF HILL 'IMMEDIATE' [LEFT] AT
SCARAMANGA FLAG & WAGON
(6)
VERTICAL SIGN [PARK ON ROAD]
TEXT 424.279.4370
WE WILL GREET & GET YOU TO THE SITE
** DO NOT ENTER GATED DRIVEWAY **
CHICKENS WILL ATTACK
RANCH GUIDE
Scaramanga Ranch is 25-Acres
Color within dotted lines.
DO NOT ACCESS RED AREAS
No Guest Burials In
[ 1 ] Months
| Black Icon | Site | Blue Icon | Site |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Thunderball | 1 | Sunrise Table |
| 2 | Goldeneye | 2 | Gulch Entry |
| 3 | Sanchez' Lair | 3 | Nick Nack's Casita |
| 4 | Mr. Big HQ | 4 | Mini-Canyon |
| 5 | Dominic's Lair | A | 2 Ranch |
| 6 | Skyfall | B | 2 Madrid, NM |
| 7 | Her Majesty | C | 2 Graveyard |
| 8 | Moonraker | D | 2 Far |
Section 3/6
Rules & Agreement
YOU AGREE TO ALL THIS
- Catchment Latrine Use
The uber-clean latrine is within a private enclosure. Below the toilet seat within an enclosed base is a bio-waste bag lined waste bucket. Access to the base is behind the latrine:
1) Wear provided disposable gloves.
2) Remove sanitized bucket.
3) Add provided bio-waste liner. Use bungee to secure.
4) Use provided shovel to add 1/4in desert sand.
Guests must remove and dispose their biowaste off property (do not bury / do not place in trash).
The latrine is cleaned and sanitized after guest check-out and on guest arrival day. Bio-Waste liners, bathroom tissue, and disposable gloves are provided amenities.
Human Waste Disposal Fee: By staying on property you agree and consent to automatic billing to your credit card in the amount of $500 per incident for human bio-waste left behind, buried, or improperly disposed of on property by a member of your party.
Note: Outhouses are banned by the NM EPA. Guests must not bury bio-waste of any kind anywhere on property whatsoever.
- Gravity Solar Shower Use
April-September Use Only. Since the water evacuates to the ground use detergent-free products (a detergent-free body/hair wash is provided). Within an uber-clean outdoor private enclosure, the sun unheated water descends by gravity.
Water Temperatures
Apr-May = Brisk
Jun-Aug = Warm
Sep= Brisk
Oct-Feb= Frozen
- Pet Waste Use
Pet bio-bags are a provided amenity. You must pick up your pet's bio-waste and dispose of it off-property. Ours is a pristine film environment and this is strictly enforced.
Pet Waste Disposal Fee: By staying on property you agree and consent to automatic billing to your credit card in the amount of $500 per incident, inclusive of DNA test fee for pet bio-waste left behind, buried, or improperly disposed of on property by your party. Applied only after a confirmed DNA test result.
- Trash Use
Trash Can: A lined trash can is provided. Do not dispose human or pet bio-waste in provided trash. Trash is picked up by ranch staff every 2-night stay. Heavy metal objects, parts, or machinery may not be disposed of in trash.
Litter Clean Up Fee: By staying on property you agree and consent to automatic billing to your credit card in the amount of $75. per incident for litter left behind and attributed to your party.
- Fires / Flame Use
Open Flame: Only permitted within provided firepit in winds below 15 mph. However, if asked to put out fire, guest must comply. Do not burn paper or plastic in firepit. Do not use/dispose charcoal in firepit (litter fee applies). Guests are welcome to source wood from dead stock in your area. Only dowse fires with water. Amenity: A bucket with non-potable water provided for fire use only.
Enclosed Flame (i.e. your own grill): So long as the flame is being monitored and can be enclosed, you may use your own propane or charcoal grill at your camp site.
Smoking: strictly prohibited on property. Litter fee applies to found smoking remnants.
Fire Extinguisher Fee: An extinguisher is provided for emergency use. By staying on property, you agree and consent to automatic billing to your credit card in the amount of $50. per unit (restocking) of expended extinguisher. Fee only applies to your open flame use. In case of natural fire emergency, call 911. If it can be extinguished with provided unit and you are willing to do so you will not be charged for the unit (and may even earn a future free stay as per our gratitude).
Assumed Risk: Your "At-Will" use of fire on property is an assumed personal and financial liability risk. By staying on property, you accept full responsibility and liability for direct and indirect property and neighboring property damages attributed to your use of fire regardless as to whether you acted or did not act properly. Providing a firepit does not in any way whatsoever represent culpable risk on behalf of the property owner or representing company. You further agree to indemnify owners and company of any responsibility or liability whatsoever in regards to injury, death, or damages attributed to your party's use of fire.
- Damage/Theft/Injury
Full Disclosure: Scaramanga Ranch occupies raw, dangerous, and unkempt native-desert wilderness on which injury or death could occur. Assume every rock is lose, all earth uneven, every animal will attack, all insects sting, and every plant toxic.
Assumed Risk: Your party's occupation and use of this property is considered, "At-Will" and exclusively at your own risk. By staying on property, all guests accept full responsibility and liability for direct and indirect damages and injuries attributed to your occupation and use. Renting/providing access to and use of the property does not in any way whatsoever represent culpable or any liability whatsoever on behalf of property owners or representing company. You further agree to indemnify owners and company of any responsibility or liability whatsoever in regards to direct or indirect personal damage, theft, injury, or death attributed your party's occupation and use of the property even in cases which you may have acted properly, took every precaution, or assumed an element or objects viability and or functionality.
Governing Law: All guests further agree to and understand any an all action between guest or visitor shall take place in and be governed by the law of the State of New Mexico, within Santa Fe County.
- General Conduct
Just-Be-Cool Policy: Property owner / management company reserve the right to order any guest or visitor off the property for any reason whatsoever and without refund. This includes if, at owner/ representative's sole discretion, a guest or visitor is deemed or preceived as being a jerk, a liability, dangerous, or unruly drug or alcohol user. Go ahead play your music as loud as you want, dance naked (out of open view of course), imbibe your toxin of choice, have an incredible time, just be safe... and you'll be fine. Thanks for staying.
Rating or Review Policy: For this one, you can thank a sole jerk who misused an online booking platform review system to achieve a total refund.
Our Responsibility: It is our responsibility to fully and accurately describe everything we commit to guests.
Guest Responsibility: It is the guest's responsibility to actually read it and look at the photos BEFORE booking, accepting, and then occupying the property.
We openly welcome authentic truthful reviews, even negative ones so long as you can prove;
1) We failed to provide an amenity, service, or glampsite committed to in the location description online in which you accepted at time of booking in the way it was disclosed on said booking platform or this site.
2) We misrepresented, exaggerated, or failed to accurately describe anything about the property, your glampsite, or an amenity on a booking platform or this site.
3) If upon arrival any element or service we committed to online was anything less than what was fully disclosed and committed to on the booking platform or this site.
4) If our conduct was poor or site cleanliness was in fact not sanitized or clean.
However, if the review is negative and withstanding we did not fully meet the obligations as noted above, described in writing, and supplemented by photos on the booking platform or on this site, you must remove said review if requested. The penalty of which is you assuming all legal fees in pursuance with getting you to comply.
Very sorry folks, we are transparent and truthful in everything. But we had a guest go on a vicious tirade about everything that was fully described, back by photos, and condition was provided as described. Not that it was dirty or bad quality, the dude literally used the rating system to argue the virtues of camping, going so far as to complain about "wind" and "dust" in a desert-forest terrain all for the express purpose of not having to pay for what they accepted at the time of booking. The equivalent of writing a vicious hotel review because a bed was provided. Not that one wasn't provided, was unclean or poor, but that the bed itself was in the room. We kid you not.
- Guests / Guest Visitors
Guests: All guests and guest visitors (if permitted) must be 18yo or older "With Valid Government ID" to enter the property regardless of "maturity", "survival skills" or "supervision". This is STRICTLY enforced. We love kids, but not on our wild terrain with canyon film site proprety. Thanks for complying.
Guest Visitors: Visitors are not permitted on property with out a pass. Visitor Passes must be requested 2-hours prior to visit (text request to 505.395.6465). Scaramanga reserves the right to reserve anyone from entering the property. Visitors must provide ID and sign Indemnification Waver upon arrival. Guest visitors are not allowed to overnight on property.
Optional Amenities
- 25 Watt Solar Charger: $25
Solar cell with smartphone and tablet adapters. Rental period is 2-day increments payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $75.
- Big Ass Stargazing Binoculars: $15
Think big, then think WAY bigger. Rip the moon to your nose with these bad boys. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $700.
- (2) Additional Chairs: $15
Two more of what we've provided all ready. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $35 each.
- 60 Quart Cooler: $15
Keep your cool... we even include 2-bags of ice. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $125.
- Cooking Utensils, Pot, Pan: $15
Typical kitchen utensil pack w/ small pot, and pan. You must return items clean. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $45.
- Live Pet Chicken: $15
Live and rather docile hen for you to pet and care for. Straw filled crate, feed & water included. If she lays an egg you get ot keep it and also get $5 off! Chicken may be coddeled and pet within cage. It may not be fully removed because if it gets away you'll be running around like uh... er... a chicken to get her back. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. If you hurt or kill this pet you will be banned from property and charged $150. You are also not allowed to eat the chicken.
- Canopy Bug Screens: $25
We'll secure all four sides of your canopy with bug screen. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $40 per panel.
- Rain-Proof Canvas Walls: $30
Turn your canopy into a glampnopy. We'll secure all four sides with rain resistant canvas sides. Rental period is 2-day increment payable via credit card. We do not accept cash. Replacement value if damaged $50 per panel.
Section 4/6
Recommendations
Road Less Traveled
Insider's list to under-discovered,
rarely visited, bizarre, & obscure.
- Madrid Cemetery
Scaramanga: 15 Min Walk
35.416397, -106.156885
About: We are quite certain you've never seen anything like this. Just imagine what a graveyard would look like if a horde of genuine hippies took charge of it. Then think even weirder than that lol.
Best Time: Sunrise or just after sunset for some drop dead awesome photos.
- 1700's Encampments
Scaramanga: 5 Min Drive + 1hr Hike
35.430011, -106.155740
About: Numerous 1700-1800's settler and miner home foundations. Super cool, but not for the weak... it's a 5-minte drive, then a hike down to see them only to come right back up. These rarely visited sites are pristine. Round trip hike approx 1.5 hrs.
Best Time: Morning or early afternoon & bring plenty of water.
- Cerrillos Catholic Cemetery
Scaramanga: 15 Min Drive
7 Yerba Buena, Los Cerrillos, NM 87010
35.442544, -106.120688
About: Located minutes from the historic town of Los Cerrillos, a totally obscure and rarely visited and pretty much abandoned cemetery with graves dating back to the early 1700's. Super, super cool if you enjoy mysteries and
history. Research has been done on some of the sites just google it.Best Time: Mid-morning to mid-day.
- Madrid, NM Audio Tour
Scaramanga: 5 Min Drive, 10 Min Walk
Madrid, NM 87010
About: Oral History Tour of Madrid, NM: The Town Too High To Die. Madrid produced the coal that both built the Bomb and inspired Walt Disney. Abandoned for years, it was reborn as a thriving artistic community.
Best Time: Anytime.
- Golden, NM
Scaramanga: 15 Min Drive
About: It's the ghost town that literally kicked off the Gold Rush in America, hence, "Golden".
Best Time: Mid-day.
- Los Cerrillos, NM
Scaramanga: 10 Min Drive
Los Cerrillos, NM
About: In addition to being the backdrop set for Young Guns, there is a very cool itsy-bitsy museum there called Casa Grande Trading Post. Nearby is the Turquiose Trail Sculpture Garden- and yeah, it's worth seeing.
Best Time: Mid-day.
- Bonanza Creek Movie Ranch
Scaramanga: 15 Min Drive
15 Bonanza Creek Lane, Santa Fe, NM
About: Aside from it's legendary status, Bonanza Creek is by far the largest movie ranch in NM. It's also has the largest and most standing sets in the state. Tours are rare, but if you catch Imogene on a good day she just may personally drive you around.
Best Time: When Imogene says, "Come on over", drop what you're doing and there there now!
- Meteorite & Fossil Gallery
Scaramanga: 28 Min Drive
110 Don Gaspar Ave, Santa Fe, NM 87501
About: Meteorite & Fossil Gallery is the legit best, most honest and authentic place of its type. It's owner, Charlie, is famously known as the "Indiana Jones of Meteorites". If you buy something, guranteed it's authentic. But don't ask him if it will help you get pregnant or good luck lol... he goes total shark eye.
Best Time: When Charlie is there for sure.
Underhyped Great Eats
Lesser-known excellent
and authentic places to dine.
- $ Anytime: Beer Creek Brewing (10 min)
Scaramanga: 10 Min Drive
3810 NM-14, Santa Fe, NM 87508
Hours: 11:30a-9p
About: BEST. PIZZA. EVER! Very affordable and high quality. Not even joking. This place rocks the best food, best vibes, and if you're into beer they brew their own. Every evening live music in the patio. Owner's name is Rich, let him know Scaramanga sent you.
- $$ Dinner: Ranch House (25 mins)
From Scaramanga: 25 Min Drive
2571 Cristo's Rd, Santa Fe, NM 87507
Hours: 11:30a-7p
About: Always excellent food and great atmosphere. If you love bbq you'll love this place. That being said their menu goes way beyond bbq so there's a taste for everyone.
- $ Breakfast: Flying Tortilla (26 mins)
Scaramanga: 26 Min Drive
4250 Cerrillos Rd, Santa Fe, NM 87507
Hours: 6:30a-2:30p
About: Excellent greasy spoon diner with even better breakfast. Interior is dated and plain but you're for the food!
- $$ Dinner: Café Grazie Mediterranean (28 mins)
Scaramanga: 26 Min Drive
3530 Zafarano Drive, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 11a-9p
About: Real Italy Italian in NM? Believe it or not this place has the serves the most authentic Tuscan-style dishes in the state. Often overlooked and way underrated due to its small size and odd location (strip mall) Cafe Grazie is italian at its best. Cozy contemporary atmosphere and they serve wine!
- $ Anytime: Plaza Café South (28 min)
Scaramanga: 28 Min Drive
3466 Zafarano Dr., Santa Fe, NM 87507
Hours: 11a-9p
About: Excellent New Mexican and other comfort foods. Why wait 2 hours at the plaza location. Plaza Cafe South has a beautiful and way more relaxed atmosphere... GET THE COCONUT CREAM PIE!
- $$ Real New Mexican: Tomasita's (30 min)
Scaramanga: 32 Min Drive
500 S Guadalupe St, Santa Fe, NM 87501
Hours: 11a-8p
About: "Finally", a well known popular place that lives up to the hype. It will take forever to get seated but totally worth it! EVERYTHING on the menue is authentic and tastes phenomenal.
Best Time:
- $$$$ Dinner: Bull Ring Steakhouse (34 min)
Scaramanga: 34 Min Drive
150 Washington Ave #108, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 4p-9p
About: WORTH EVERY PENNY! All the other steakhouses in the plaza area are total hype and crap. Bull Ring is where the states movers, shakers, and politicians go. Total old school glam interior. Their steak is on par with Del Frisco's. Skip the dining room, the bar is where you want to be. Jamie & Mary are the only bar tenders that matter... let them know Scaramanga sent ya! P.S. Don't (lol) Fall for Geronimo's Steak House. Yes, it's froo-froo, yes it's expensive, yes their steaks taste like Outback Grill... not worth the money- at all.
- $$$ Asian: Izanami Restaurant (43 min)
Scaramanga: 43 Min Drive
21 Ten Thousand Waves Way, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 12p-9p
About: Izanami is nestled within the Santa Fe mountains and by god if you visit one Santa Fe restauraunt make it this one. Once inside you'll be convinced you've flown to Japan because it is EPIC. Food- perfect. Now see our recommendation of their spa... oooo, gets even better.
Section 5/6
Honest Shops
Perfect Proprietors
Guide to good merchants.
- Antiques: Santa Fe Antiques Mall (30 Mins)
Scaramanga: 30 Min Drive
(505) 982-0017
Antiques: Santa Fe Antiques Mall
Hours: 10a-4:30p
About: There are many antique shops in Santa Fe, none are quite like this. Seems the place has something for everyone. And while the rest price themselves out of the ballpark, Santa Fe Antiques Mall is pretty grounded and affordable when it comes to deals.
- Minerals/Art: Meteorites & More (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
110 Don Gaspar Ave, Santa Fe, NM
(505) 988-3299
Minerals/Art: Meteorites & More
Hours: 10a-6p
About: As noted before, this. place. rocks. In addition, they have some of the most interesting and sought after mineral art in the country. The owner, Charlie is widely known as the 'Indiana Jones of Meteorites", strike up a conversation with him because boy does he have some way cool stories to tell.
- Apparel: Fist Full of Dollars (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
Hours: 11a-5p
About: We love the clothing at this place... just really cool western inspired closthing and at excellent prices.
- Jewelry: Samsville Gallery (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
66 E San Francisco St, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 11a-7p
About: We mentioned Sam before. If you're even considering a Native American jewelry purchase visit Sam first. If you already bought Native American jewelry- bring it to Sam to authenticate it and tell ya what its true value is.
- Essentials: Santa Fe Soap Ranch (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
207 Old Santa Fe Trail, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 10a-4p
About: Heavenly is the best way to describe this shop. Just walking inside places you in chillax mode. Prices are fair, not too high, not too low. They also ship some really awesome gift packs.
- Ornaments: The Shop (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
116 E Palace Ave, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 10a-6p
About: It's Christmas year round at this place and they stock plenty of unique decorations you haven't seen anywhere else. The place is jam packed so be careful not to take out a tree or two.
- Apparel: Maverick's of Santa Fe (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
80 E San Francisco St, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: 10a-7:30p
About: By god, this is a western apparel fantasy shop. Simply amazing and you'll find something cool and affordiale that appeals to everyone on your gift list. Although mostly you'll want it all for yourself.
- Authentics: Santa Fe Flea Market (Plaza)
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
17751 US Hwy 285, Santa Fe, NM
Hours: Seasonal
About: Numerous We know this is going to sound weird but if you feel confident in your turquoise jewelry authentication skills, you will find nothing less than shockingly low prices. Quite literally we have picked up some impressive finds. Personal example; we saw a very elaborate peice by a very collectable artist in a plaza shop for $3500 dollars... later that day we hit the SF flea market and found the exact same item by said artist for $600! And yes, it was everything we thought it was and totally authentic (not a knockoff)... ever since, this is where we go to buy 'old pawn' collectable jewelry. You bet we bought it.
Turquoise Buyers Guide
This could prevent you
from getting ripped off.
- Turquoise Value Truth
Given New Mexico’s turquoise legacy you’d think it has great value. Unfortunately, that is so far from the truth. In fact, as far as gemstone (karat) value, U.S. Southwest mined turquoise ranks bottom of the barrel. The most valuable being from China. From an investment/collector standpoint, southwestern jewelry value is a direct consequence of the Native American artist who crafted it.
Just because a seller touts an artist’s name does not necessarily mean it is sought after, collectible, valuable, or even authentic. Despite it being a federal crime, numerous plaza jewelers have been busted for selling India-made knockoffs with forged Native American artist names. And finding a reputable plaza jeweler is more difficult than you’d like to think (out of dozens, only one plaza jeweler made our recommend list).
- Fool Me Once: Turquoise Types
Never assume when a seller implies. It’s your money, never be afraid to ask. And if they say one thing and you’re willing to buy it, ask them to document the affirmation on the receipt and sign their name to it. You will be shocked at how many will decline or fly off the handle upon request. A reputable seller is always happy to abide.
Solid vs Stabilized vs Altered
• Solid Natural Turquoise is just that, a single solid gemstone. Density is everything. Clearly, solid is what you want and often has the highest value.
• Stabilized Natural Turquoise is still turquoise; it is just softer, more porous, and thus lower grade. Some of the best matrixes are simply too fragile to shape and so they are stabilized with an epoxy.
• Enhanced means the stone has been stabilized with cheaper plastic filler.
• Reconstituted or “Chalk” means fragments of turquoise have been crushed into a fine powder (turquoise dust) and then mixed with epoxy to form hard blocks which are then cut into stone shapes.
• Block or Imitation is synthetic (dyed plastic) or the manipulation of another stone like Howlite and made to appear as turquoise, but with no actual turquoise in it.
- Real vs False Test
So, you're no gemstone expert but at the very least you want to distinguish the real stuff from the fake. Not a problem...
Option 1: Pocket Knife
Open the knife and gently tap the stone. A sharp sound = real, thud = fake.
Option 2: Tooth Test
Tap the stone gently against your tooth. A sharp sound = real, thud = fake.
Now go impress everyone with your newfound savviness. and sophistication.
- Trading Company vs Trading Company
While anyone can own a Trading Company, very very few are actual Traders. The difference being a trader has earned the trust of Native Americans and trades (jewelry, good, and services) with them. Meanwhile the typical Trading Company has no interaction with Native Americans… and no one just up and becomes a trader. Doesn’t work that way. It takes generations before this trust is earned.
So, you asked, and the Trading Company said they are traders… how can you be certain? Follow up by asking if they do pawn. If they don’t do pawn, guaranteed they are not a real trader. Here is a little peek behind the curtain… Native Americans (rightfully so) do not trust banks, they do not do business with banks, and that’s why you have never seen a bank on a reservation.
If Native Americans don’t trust banks, who do they trust? Enter the Trader; bakers to Native America who pawn their most prized creations in exchange for extremely low interest loans. And if you think they’re being taken advantage of, you are wrong. Traders are not typical pawn shops which are usually predatory and incentivized to seize the pawn. In contrast, that is the last thing a Trader wants to do because it definitively ends the trading cycle (which is not to their advantage). Payback of a transaction can go on for years or even decades. Yet the Trader still has that prized jewelry, patiently waiting for the loan to be repaid so the cycle to begin again. And this leads into your next buyers tip…
- Jewelry vs Old Pawn Jewelry
Today, Native Americans leverage their talents to craft incredible contemporary jewelry to sell... but back in the day they made it to trade for supplies and loans. Don't get us wrong, contemporary stuff can still be quite valuable and collectable... but true collectors are all about the "old pawn". Old pawn is the classic stuff made to trade with Traders and they can't get enough of it. So if you are getting in to collect, always ask the seller if they have any "old pawn". Especially if you're at an authentic Trading Company.
- Jewelry Sale 40%! 50%! 60% Off!
Whistleblowing New Mexico Tourism’s biggest shenanigans. If your Native American jewelry purchase was motivated by 40, 50, 0r OMG- 60% off sale… we are deeply sorry to admit that gimmick has played non-stop since 1960. No matter what year, time of year, or season you visit New Mexico, Native American jewelry is always 40, 50, and 60% off lol. When folks try that on us, we say call us when it’s 70% off because that will be a sale.
Another gimmick, the perpetual “Going Out of Business Sale”, which Santa Fe attempted to crack down on by requiring a permit to hang those banners and only for two weeks. Initially, the permit cost $250 which repeat offenders regularly paid. Eventually, it was increased to $2500. While that certainly stopped most, during high season some still pay it. Long story short, there is no sale, and no one is actually going out of business.
Of the plaza shops we only endorse one and they rarely have sales, but when the do rest assured it is actually on sale. There are other decent owners on the plaza. Best way to weed out the fakers, frauds and falsifiers? If the shop owner is a multi-generational New Mexican or Hispanic New Mexican, they’re often decent folks. The dirty scandal going on behind the scenes for 10 years is the unprecedented influx of foreign owners that work together to pressure New Mexican owners to sell out. This isn’t rumor, several close friends share their horrifying stories with us. So, in short, buy New Mexican.
- Endorsed: Samsville Gallery
Scaramanga: 35 Min Drive
66 E San Francisco St, Santa Fe, NM
About: Breaking the mold, Sam isn't a New Mexico but we've known him a long time. He is always honest, not always cheap, but hey, you do get what you pay for. Another great thing is Sam is also indeed a Trader, a fantastic achievement for someone his age. Everything Sam sell is the good to honest 'real deal'. No fakes, no forgeries, and no junk. Whether you buy or not Sam is happy to have folks drop by and has no problem educating on how to distingush between real and fake. He'll even do a demonstration for you. When you arrive, let him know Scaramanga sent you.
- Tanner Family Traders (Gallup, NM)
(505) 863-4434
Ok, straight up if you want to eliminate any change of making a mistake or getting a bum deal, "and" you can make the 2.5-hour drive to Gallup, NM, hands-down the Tanner family is the most renowned and historically legit Traders in New Mexico... their trades with Native American's go way way way way back. There are many Tanner family Trading Companies in Gallup all perfectly safe. However, if you can strike it up with the patriarch, Ellis Tanner, even better. 100% you will get the best, most honest deal. 100% your purchase will be authentic. 100% you will never be taken and your investment smart. If you do go, mention the television series ‘Fireball Run’ and you'll have instantly made a new, trusted friend.
Section 6/6
Madrid, NM.
Overall Experience
An Angry Old Hippy Town.
Its kitschy, it's weird, but Madrid isn't
known for hospitality. Much of the
250 residents are bitter old hippies
and it's the bitter part we don't get.
For some reason many merchants
act like you owe them. Some are
plain unfriendly and won't greet you.
We'd like that to change. So, please
reward those that do with your
patronage and those that don't?
Buy it elsewhere.
Today, tourism is about crafting
a great experience & hospitality.
We want you to return, that's why
Scaramanga is so highly rated.
New and younger owner-investors
have begun to move in, and hopefully soon MADrid will be a lot
less mad and a lot more kind.
If have a great experience in a
Madrid shop let us know
and we'll add them to our list.
Key Madrid Places
Not An Endorsement.
- Mineshaft Tavern & Museum
It's definitely priced for tourists, food so-so, and service to be desired, but the Mineshaft is the most authentic holdover from Madrid's mining era. It's absolutely worth a look and at least one overpriced drink. The museum is mostly a hodge-podge of left over mining equipment but those who appreciate history will get a kick out of it.
- Free Wi-Fi! Java Junction
It's literally the only thing open between 7a-11a. You can identify the owner by the scowl on her face lol, but we'd feel that way too if we opened every day at 7a. Best thing about this place is the free wi-fi... just get there early if you want a seat. Beverage prices are reasonable and absolutely try the green chile quiche!
Great Madrid Merchants
Definite Endorsement.
- Mineshaft Tavern & Museum
It's definitely priced for tourists, food so-so, and service to be desired, but the Mineshaft is the most authentic holdover from Madrid's mining era. It's absolutely worth a look and at least one overpriced drink. The museum is mostly a hodge-podge of left over mining equipment but those who appreciate history will get a kick out of it.
- Free Wi-Fi! Java Junction
It's literally the only thing open between 7a-11a. You can identify the owner by the scowl on her face lol, but we'd feel that way too if we opened every day at 7a. Best thing about this place is the free wi-fi... just get there early if you want a seat. Beverage prices are reasonable and absolutely try the green chile quiche!
- Jezebel Strip Shops
By far our favorite place in Madrid. Owner is very nice and appreciative of your business. They have a wide range of cool handmade items at reasonable prices all the way up to unbelievable art at market price. Be sure to visit their soda fountain! Pricy but awesome shakes and honestly really good food moderately priced.
- Art & Aniques
Lori Musil Art & Antiques
2891 NM-14, Los Cerrillos, NM
When the owner is there the place has great ambiance. This is pretty much an assortment of unique handmade items. You should at least check it out.
- Seppanen Fine Textures
Holy Holy crikie this stuff is expensive! Then again holy crikie real Native American textures are always expensive- and totally appreciate in value and are worth investment. There are tons of fakery when it comes to textiles in New Mexico, but this place stocks the real deal. Owners get you're a customer and go out of their way to insure you're informed even if you don't buy. this stuff is expensive! Then again holy crikie real Native American textures are always expensive- and totally hold and are worth the investment. There is tons of fakery when it comes to textiles in New Mexico, but this place stocks the real deal. Owners get you're a customer and go out of their way to insure you're informed even if you don't buy.
- Range West
Very impressive stone and metal works by a huble and talented artist/owner. Not cheap, but worth every penny... the water feature's they do are very chill not to mention in several Santa Fe homes.
- Crystal Dragon
Crystal Dragon
Pretty much a gemstone and mineral shop with an assortment of other handcrafted gifts. Store is kinda in disarray but what makes this place special is the very kind and patient owner. He is super helpful and willing to take time with you whether you're buying a $5 dollar or $500 dollar item.
